I believe

There are many things I could say I believe in, but do I really believe in them? I believe having a good attitude will get you far in a day, but that’s just it one day. I believe morals are based on how you were raised, and if you don’t apply them to your life every day, then you were taught them for nothing and pointless to of even tried. I believe you can be influenced into doing anything the other person wants you to do if you have no self-respect for the way you allow others to treat you. I believe what God has written in the bible to be true, and if you completely surrender to his will you can live a joyful life filled with love and happiness. I also believe that living a Christian life is by far not the easiest road to walk down.

The Church’s, that teaches the truth about God’s word, teaches us when we don’t feel like we can go any further, and you want it to end, all you have to do is seek God in prayer and ask him to guide you through whatever it is your having trouble with. I believe this to be true and I have done this on many occasions. Some people may not agree with me about God or anything that has to do with him, but that is ok this is my belief. It’s what I need in my life to help me stay sober, and keep on the right path, and also a guideline on how I need to be raising my kids. Since the day I had submitted my life completely to God my life has done a complete 180 from 3 years ago even a year ago. I can see different parts of my life that had change dramatically and some that still needs work.

My life 3 years ago was a mess. To be honest I wasn’t a good person at all. I stole from my family, lied to them, even choose an abusive guy and drugs over them, even my own child. He got me hooked on meth from sticking a needle in my arm for the first time. He stole 7 months of my life, and 7 months from my oldest son’s life away. He would beat me every day just for opening my mouth and telling him how I felt. One of the girls he was sleeping with behind my back was so drug up that she flipped out on me that caused her friend to flip out and pulled a gun on me. Yes he was crazy enough to pull the trigger and I cried out to God to save me and he did. I believe to this day that God saved me and I don’t know what stopped him from shooting me but from that moment I owed God my life. 3 months later my now ex-husband got arrested went to prison and from there I divorced him and went to treatment. I have been clean from everything for 2 years 9 months and 12 days. I struggled with little things from that point like my sexual attraction to guys key why I now have my youngest son, but from the time I was pregnant with Jaydon I have not had any relationships with anyone of any manner, because God is the only man I need in my life, and my kids life right now.

If I didn’t believe there was something better to look forward too by walking a straight line believe me I wouldn’t be doing it. I need this belief to help me focus on things that need to change; the things that can hold me back from making something out of my life, and making my kids have an even better life. In the Bible God speaks about how a woman should be before she is married. But what most women lack is the understanding of what it truly means in our time. My belief is that through God’s understanding, and my willingness to accept it, I can not only be a good Godly woman for that good Godly man God has created for me, but I can also be that Godly mother God has called me to be.

I struggle with the thought of being loved by the people around me daily. So for me to believe that there is something greater in this world that loves me for who I am is beyond what words can speak. Feeling that love and being willing to accept it is also teaching me that I could love someone who is close to me and be faithful with that love as well. I believe being a Christian has made me a calmer, more open person that is willing to go the limits to shear God’s love to those who needs it. For God first loved me, so shall I love them who don’t love him.